All of Me

When we get in the car for long rides, the girls and Michael will ask me to tell a story. We laugh and have fun and it's a good way to keep family history alive. I don't know why we put TVs in cars and load movies on iPhones to keep kids busy. It's so much more fun to interact and communicate! So, to start this blog, I asked my daughters which story I should tell first. Kate suggested I should start with Grandma. I dearly loved my maternal grandmother. She was an island of love and sanity and taught me many things, including my letters and how to spell. I know y'all don't put a “u” in words that I think end in “-our”, but it doesn't look right to me without it, and when I do notice it's different, I think of her and it makes me smile.

When I was 16, we went to the cabin in Walloon Lake, Michigan. My parents had another couple come up to visit and we went to Harbor Springs for the day. The ladies went shopping and I hate to shop. Luckily for me, my beloved stepfather Bill and his friend allowed me to tag along with them to the bar of a restaurant that overlooked the bay. The view of the water and the docks with lovely boats could captivate me for hours. While the boys enjoyed martinis, I sipped my Vernor's ginger ale and listened to the music. It was a new album by Willie Nelson called Stardust. It wasn't his usual country music; it was a new twist on old jazz tunes and very well done. I interrupted the boys and commented that I really liked the music. My stepfather gave me money and told me to pick up the 8-track at Kmart the next day so we could listen in the car. 

We traveled home later that week, with Mom and Bill in the front seat, and Grandma and I in the back, listening to the 8 track over and over. When we got home, I was sent back to Kmart to get a copy of the album for home. It was quite a leap for a family who liked jazz and classical music to be listening to Willie Nelson. It didn't take long before my stepfather was getting more of Willie's music, claiming that really well orchestrated music is a joy, no matter the genre.

Grandma didn't operate the stereo and would ask me to put albums on for her. She liked Luciano Pavarotti and classic Spanish guitar music while she cleaned house in her duster. For those of you not in the know, a duster is a summer weight house coat with short sleeves, big pockets and pearl covered snaps down the front. Grandma always wore this as she cleaned house first thing in the day, before she dressed up to go out.

I put Stardust on for her one day and she kept asking me to play one particular song for her over and over. She would be swirling about and singing "All of me, why not take all of me, can't you see I'm no good without you..." It was quite a sight to see and it happened day after day. When pressed why she wanted this one song again and again, she would only say it reminded her of my granddad and continue to have that dreamy, far away look in her eyes. 

Grandma and Granddad, who was killed by a speeding motorcycle long before I was born, had quite the love affair. Grandma never spoke ill of Granddad in all the years I knew her. He was the love of her life. When asked why she never had a gentlemen friend after Granddad died, she would say that Granddad was the best man ever, and she never wanted another to tarnish his memory. I asked if they had ever fought since she never had an unkind word for him. She said that they had terrible rows from time to time, but the war had taught them there was nothing more precious than time spent together in harmony. Granddad was in His Majesty’s Navy during World War II on the HMS Electra. The ship was disabled during a fight and Granddad was taken as a prisoner of war by the Japanese. When the Americans took possession of the island, Granddad was 67 pounds at 5’2”. Grandma had previously been told that he was missing, presumed killed and fainted when she pulled a postcard with an American flag on one side and nothing but Granddad’s signature on the other. He spent many more months in rehab before she could see him again. The time spent thinking they’d never see each other again taught them that even if there was an argument going on, Fridays were when he brought her flowers, even if he didn’t have any money and nicked a few from a garden somewhere, and she would cook him one of his favourite meals. In the long run, the good times outweighed the bad and it was more worth it to make up than to argue.

So days went by with my 79-year-old grandmother swooning to “All of Me” and looking like a lovestruck teenager despite the pure white hair and aging face. It was nothing to repeat this song eight or nine times in a row. Finally, my teenage curiosity got the better of me. I had to know what this was all about. I refused to play the song again until I knew why. Grandma paused and said, “As long as you don’t tell your mother, I’ll tell you.” Well, this was obviously a juicy tidbit and I promised to never breathe a word. Grandma blushed as she said, “Your Granddad used to take his bath after lunch. He would come out of the bath stark naked and sing, ‘All of me, why not take all of me, can’t you see I’m no good without you!’ We’d have quite the passionate afternoon together. Your granddad was quite the lover. I hope you find such a man to spend your life with, my dear.”

So, I tell the story to my girls as it’s a good thing to embrace our sexuality and a good thing to know that Grandma did enjoy her life with Granddad. I don’t think she’d mind me telling her story now, as it brings me great joy and is a good lesson for the girls. Like I said, she taught me many things in an open and loving way. I hope I can do the same.